Do you feel like his "manipulative" ex is being that way because he allows it? Is she always defending her "unreasonable" ex's actions - even when they don't involve their children? A person who is still in an emotional (or actual) relationship with their ex may use the fact that they share children as an excuse to continue a romantic relationship with them. While a healthy relationship with an ex can make joint child-rearing a less painful experience for all parties, there is a difference between your mate getting along with their ex and them still potentially being in love with them.
8 Signs that your mate is still in an emotional (or actual) relationship with an ex.
2. Your mate argues with their ex about things that aren't directly related to their children. While there are a small percentage of individuals who, by some miracle, still have a very amicable relationship with the ex with whom they share children, many do not. A healthy relationship between exes is one that is not emotionally charged. Generally, in relationships involving blended families and blended family issues, people argue with those whose opinions matter to them. What should matter most between ex-couples than their children? If your mate continually argues with his/her ex about things that cannot be directly tied to the children, be careful - your mate may still have lingering romantic feelings for an ex.
4. Your mate cannot talk on the phone in front of you. Actually, this one does not just include talking on the phone in front of you. It also includes secretive behavior, password protecting and not being able to use your mates phone. If their phone rings and they make a mad dash to get it before you and/or if they never let their phone out of their sight - your mate could be messing around with his/her ex or his/her next. Either way, it's not you.
5. Your mate stalks their ex's Facebook page, other social networks, and interrogates mutual friends. For obvious reasons it is difficult to commit fully in a new relationship, if one is still looking back wistfully at the old one.
7. Your mate becomes aggravated, upset or angry when his/her ex dates someone new. (Even if that person will never meet their children). One should be concerned. A person who is overly invested emotionally in their ex's love life may be secretly harboring romantic feelings for them.
8. Your mate still has pictures with his/her ex on the wall/on display that do not include their children. Obviously, looking at photos and reminiscing about the times one has had with their ex while in a new relationship is not good for the new relationship. It also is a sure sign that your mate is not "over" their ex.
The specifics of your individual situation is unknown. Seek advice from a trusted religious leader, counselor and/or therapist for assistance regarding your specific situation. While individuals that show the aforementioned signs may be in a new or long term relationship with someone, the fact that they are displaying these signs means that they are most likely not ready for a new relationship. They are also not ready to create a relationship that would result in a blended family.
This Weeks Top 3
Many blended families deal with difficult issues. However, having a partner with a manipulative ex may be one of the most relationship-cha...
There are 1,300 new blended families formed every single day in the United States, however 60 to 70 percent of blended families end in div...
There are many lessons that parents must teach their children. One of the most important lessons that a parent can teach a child is how to...
© Meka A Butler, DD and Blended Family Moments, 2011 - 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Meka A Butler, DD or Dr. Meka Butler and Blended Family Moments with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.